{"id":20493,"date":"2024-01-08T15:43:31","date_gmt":"2024-01-08T14:43:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/editionsdespetitspas.com\/?p=20493"},"modified":"2025-01-28T17:15:15","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T16:15:15","slug":"cest-decide-jarrete-de-crier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/editionsdespetitspas.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/08\/cest-decide-jarrete-de-crier\/","title":{"rendered":"C’est d\u00e9cid\u00e9, j’arr\u00eate de crier!"},"content":{"rendered":"
Cette ann\u00e9e, c\u2019est promis, c\u2019est jur\u00e9, je ne crie plus (sur mes enfants. Sur celui qui m\u2019a grill\u00e9 la priorit\u00e9\u2026 on verra l\u2019ann\u00e9e prochaine).<\/p>
<\/figure>
\u00ab C\u2019est curieux, avant d\u2019avoir des enfants, tu ne criais jamais \u00bb, a fait remarquer son conjoint \u00e0 une de mes amies \u2013 ce qui est probablement arriv\u00e9 \u00e0 la moiti\u00e9 d\u2019entre nous (l\u2019autre moiti\u00e9 criait probablement \u00ab d\u00e9j\u00e0 \u00bb avant d\u2019avoir des enfants). <\/p>\n\n
Pourquoi crions-nous sur les gens que nous aimons le plus au monde, alors que nous sommes capables de supporter sans broncher les sournoiseries de notre chef ? Et est-ce que \u00e7a sert \u00e0 quelque chose ?<\/p><\/div><\/div>
<\/p>
Je r\u00e9ponds \u00e0 contre-sens : non, \u00e7a ne sert \u00e0 rien. Quand nous crions, les enfants secr\u00e8tent les hormones du stress, qui les enjoignent soit \u00e0 se t\u00e9taniser soit \u00e0 s\u2019enfuir (la r\u00e9ponse de survie \u00ab flight or freeze \u00bb). Dans cet \u00e9tat, ils n\u2019entendent rien de ce que vous dites : c\u2019est perdu. Un peu plus tard, quand ils d\u00e9g\u00e8lent, ils se rappellent que vous leur avez fait peur, tr\u00e8s peur, alors que vous \u00eates sens\u00e9s les prot\u00e9ger : la confiance se rompt peu \u00e0 peu, et sans confiance, il est bien difficile d\u2019\u00e9duquer (dans le sens de \u00ab montrer le chemin \u00e0 \u00bb) quelqu\u2019un.<\/p>
Vous, de votre c\u00f4t\u00e9, vous commencez probablement par avoir honte\u2026 puis \u00e0 trouver une justification \u00e0 votre r\u00e9action (\u00ab il l\u2019a bien cherch\u00e9 ! \u00bb) qui va vous emp\u00eacher, peut-\u00eatre, de r\u00e9parer la relation en pr\u00e9sentant des excuses sinc\u00e8res.<\/p>
En r\u00e9alit\u00e9, celui qui crie, c\u2019est celui qui a perdu.<\/p><\/figure>
<\/p>
Oui mais alors, pourquoi crions-nous ? Souvent parce que nos besoins ne sont pas respect\u00e9s. Quand il y a beaucoup de bruit, que quelqu\u2019un me tient la main, la jambe ou le t-shirt en permanence, quand j\u2019ai faim, soif, besoin de sommeil, besoin d\u2019espace, de vide, de sens, quand l\u2019heure tourne et que l\u2019\u00e9ch\u00e9ance approche, il devient INSUPPORTABLE que quelqu\u2019un ne mette pas ses chaussettes alors qu\u2019on lui a d\u00e9j\u00e0 r\u00e9p\u00e9t\u00e9 mille fois, taquine sa s\u0153ur, fasse encore et toujours la m\u00eame erreur d\u2019accord. <\/p>
Mais nous sommes l\u2019adulte. Notre travail le plus important, celui que personne ne fera \u00e0 notre place, c\u2019est de prendre soin de nous en r\u00e9pondant \u00e0 nos besoins. Quand vous \u00eates avec vos enfants, une fois par heure, faites une petite v\u00e9rification interne : comment vous sentez-vous ? Avez-vous besoin de boire, de manger, de respirer un peu dehors, de bouger, de vous isoler un instant ? R\u00e9tablissez votre \u00e9quilibre.<\/p>
Et puis, puisque c\u2019est la nouvelle ann\u00e9e, prenez devant vos enfants la grande r\u00e9solution solennelle : cette ann\u00e9e, je ne crierai pas. Et comme je suis en train d\u2019apprendre, je ne vais pas y arriver du premier coup, je vais avoir besoin d\u2019aide. <\/p>
Mettez en place un tableau de f\u00e9licitations\u2026 pour vous ! Et donnez-vous des \u00e9ch\u00e9ances : \u00e0 chaque demi-journ\u00e9e pass\u00e9e sans crier, accordez-vous une petite gommette \u00e9toile ( ou c\u0153ur\u2026 ou dino\u2026) sur le calendrier. Quand vous sentez la rage monter, partez ! partez avant de dire quoi que ce soit. Sauf danger av\u00e9r\u00e9, il y a bien peu de chance que votre r\u00e9action r\u00e9ponde \u00e0 une v\u00e9ritable urgence, alors quittez la pi\u00e8ce, prenez un coussin, mordez-le, donnez-lui des coups, allez crier un grand coup dans le jardin. Soyez en col\u00e8re, exprimez-l\u00e0, mais pas devant eux.<\/p>
Tout doucement et tranquillement, vous allez vous habituer \u00e0 ne plus crier. Votre calendrier va se remplir de petites gommettes\u2026 et vous ne crierez plus.<\/p>
Alors, qui commence ce d\u00e9fi d\u2019une vie avec nous cette ann\u00e9e ?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Cette ann\u00e9e, c\u2019est promis, c\u2019est jur\u00e9, je ne crie plus (sur mes enfants. Sur celui qui m\u2019a grill\u00e9 la priorit\u00e9\u2026 on verra l\u2019ann\u00e9e prochaine). \u00ab C\u2019est curieux, avant d\u2019avoir des enfants, tu ne criais jamais \u00bb, a fait remarquer son conjoint \u00e0 une de mes amies \u2013 ce qui est probablement arriv\u00e9 \u00e0 la moiti\u00e9 d\u2019entre nous […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[63],"tags":[243,246,242,15,241,240,55,74,236,244,237,238,239,162,245],"class_list":["post-20493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-amour","tag-bonnesresolutions","tag-disciplinepositive","tag-education","tag-educationbienveillante","tag-educationpositive","tag-enfance","tag-enfants","tag-jarretedecrier","tag-paix","tag-parent","tag-parentalite","tag-parentalitepositive","tag-parents","tag-viedefamille"],"yoast_head":"\n
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